Only two more months, only two more months. I am so ready for this school year to be over. I want a fresh start! I love those. I feel like I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm ready to just forget about them and move on. I guess that kind of describes my obsession with time. I know it's kind of weird and annoying, but every thirty minutes I always set an alarm. I've never really told anyone, but the reason I do this is because it stands as repetitious "fresh starts" to be a good person and a good Christian. Of course, it never really works. I'm always messing up. But hopefully I'll never stop trying; I'm not a quiter :)

I realized that I need to spend more time with God and really try to make him the center of my life. It sounds corny, but I really miss Him. I don't know what happened, but it seems like He's really far away, and I'm not trying hard enough to find Him. It's kind of a downer, but I just get so caught up with everything else around me that He sort of fades into the distance. Bummer. I keep telling myself that I'll do whatever it takes to find that relationship again, but I always end up falling and being discouraged. I don't know where to find my motivation, and I don't know where to find my drive. It's like the third lap of the mile where you're so tired and you just want to quit; but then you're forced to run because you have to. How do I get rid of that feeling? Hopefully spending more time at church and with my friends will help me to find that passion again. Maybe I just need more discipline in my life. I need discipline, prayer, the Word, and love :) Hopefully I can see Him through all these dark times soon.